Thursday, February 22, 2007

Support? How do you best show it?

How do you show a dear friend that you care and that you are there for him/her through a tough time? When you are near her, you can always just give a pat on the shoulder, a pression of the hand or a hug. It is usually enough to convey the message. Now when you are miles apart, what is the best way? With the distance, it is shown through words. So when are words too much? When do the words suffocate the person rather than support her? Can you just assume that the person knows that she can turn to you? Should you feel excluded if she doesn't?

Is it being insecure to probe the situation or is it just to establish that the rough time doesn't have its source in your relationship and hence to free your own mind to be fully available to support the person?

I guess you also need to realise that there are some things that a person needs to go through alone, you cannot always help someone or spare her the hard times. Now when you, by nature, are like a Saint-Bernard, always wanting to rescue people, and on top of this, care passionately for the person, then it is really hard. But we are constantly learning and growing, aren't we?

Sunday, February 18, 2007

Is there such a thing as contentment?

Contentment: happiness with one's situation in life
Content: satisfied with what one is or has, not wanting more or anything else, quietly happy

Are we ever trully contented? Can we really be quietly happy? I started to wonder this today as I was anxiously waiting to chat with my fairy. I was feeling like we hadn't talked in a while (although we do talk each day for various length of time - from 1 minute or 2 to a whole hour or more). I was feeling like I needed more of her time. And she commented that it was a rather needy behaviour, which I agree but somehow couldn't quite help myself. So it raised the question in my head: are we ever really content? I would have answered that we can be trully happy yes. But as the definition of contentment shows, if we are never content, then we are never really happy.

But I tend to disagree with that. Because at this point in my life, if I am asked whether I am happy, I honestly reply that I am. Yet I do feel I miss her a lot so, although happy, I want more, so I am not content. Is it a contradiction inherent to human beings? Is it human to always wish for more, better, longer, nicer? I think it is human nature to want more of the things you love and enjoy. I think it is also linked to our awareness of time. Humans are concious of time, of now, of the future and the past, unlike animals (I believe at least, still researching that one). So it's in our nature to think of what's next and that's when you think of what can be better or more, as it is also in our nature to evolve and that is a positive change. Therefore to be contented, human need to make a conscious effort to live in the NOW cause when we do then happiness and contentment trully co-exist.

May be one can tell we are content and happy, when one can say we'd die happy if we'd died right now on the spot. But then again time catches up with us and i realise that to say I'd die happy right now only happens at specific times. Cause to trully say we're happy and contented there can't be a "I'd die happy but I wish..." because it expresses regrets. So to conclude this reasonning, there is such a thing as contentment but it is a punctual feeling, it cannot be a lasting feeling, due to the passing of time and the constant changes that occur in one's life, each day, each minute, which makes us adjust our vision of life.

But one is trully happy when we collect moments after moments of feeling contented, as all these moments will give the impression of a constant state of satisfaction.