Of anger, fears, distractions and hapiness
I am now entering my 3rd week out of a job and fears are getting more and more of a handle on me. I have gone through a lot of anger, I felt that I have been backstabbed by someone calling herself a friend till the last day of our collaboration and who now has turned around 180 degrees. Although I know that I should not let it get a hold on me, but the cut is so deep. It triggers anger with the person but also anger with myself for having been so naive and for letting it affecting me so much now. It also makes me want to hit back just as hard, which is petty and will not get me anywhere, but it just feels unfair that I can be hurt so much. It is giving the person the power. The cut is so deep that just writing this has tears running down my face. After the anger comes the fears. What if people actually believe the person, what if I loose my credibility and the support that I need? What if the person gets even nastier? The fears are mostly irrational yet they are paralysing. It becomes